Lots of good comments in the post below.
Prior to this discussion I’d been reading Gerald O’Collins’s The Tripersonal God: Understanding and Interpreting the Trinity. He has some things to say on naming the Trinity that might be helpful:
When the Trinity is named, God the Father functions validly if we align ourselves with the meanings communicated in that metaphor by the biblical witnesses (above all, by Jesus himself) and refuse to literalize it. It is these meanings that convey true information about the tripersonal God. Father names personally the God revealed in Israel’s history and known relationally as the Abba of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection (together with the outpouring of the Holy Spirit). Father fixes the reference when Christians speak distinctively of the tripersonal God and what they believe the Trinity to be like. The image and language of Abba emerged from Jesus’ specific experience of God. Once we agree that language and experience, while distinguishable, belong inseparably to each other, we would misrepresent Jesus’ experience if we insisted on replacing his central language for God. Fidelity to Jesus calls on believers to name the first person of the Trinity primarily as Father, which entails acknowledging Jesus himself (though once again not exclusively) as the Son of God.
By not arguing for an exclusive use of male names, I recognize that we do and should also use other names: Such a gender-neutral name as Creator for the first person of the Trinity and such a female name as Wisdom for the second person. Once we move beyond trinitarian formulations, many possibilities open up: well over 100 distinctive names for Jesus in the NT alone and “God” (in the form of ho Theos) as the name with which the NT often designates God the Father. The question at issue is not the use of other distinctive names but rather the primary way of naming the Trinity when we use trinitarian formulations, and–in particular–the name Father for the first person. (p. 186)
The key points here, it seems to me, are that “Father” fixes the reference to the God of Jesus, and that language and experience are inseparable, so we can’t simply assume that we can retain the same meaning with a change of language. It’s fidelity to Jesus and his experience of God, not some vague idea we may have about “fatherhood,” that licenses the use of “Father” to address the first person of the Trinity. If anything, in the biblical tradition the character of God defines and sets the standard of fatherhood that human fathers are measured against, rather than being a projection of human qualities onto God.
Later Fr. O’Collins writes:
Suppressing the traditional naming of the Trinity would mean loss rather than gain. Such alternate proposals for the first person as Source and Parent sound remote, even impersonal, and nowhere near as directly relational as Father. Unquestionably, these alternatives contain or imply some personal and relational elements and are not intended to subvert Christian belief in a personal God. But if we try using (exclusively?) Source, Parent, and so forth as forms of address to God, we will perceive the superiority of Father. Some of the alternative triads (e.g., Creator, Christ, and Spirit) have a strong Arian flavor about them, as if only the first person of the Trinity were properly divine, possessed the power of creation, and had in fact freely created out of nothing Christ and the Spirit. One might object here that Hilary of Poitiers said something similar when he wrote of faith “in the Creator, the Only-Begotten, and the Gift.” Yet, he used such language immediately after recalling Jesus’ mandate to baptize “in the name of the Farther, and the Son, adn of the Holy Spirit” (De Trinitate, 2.1.33). The context for Hilary’s alternate triad removed any sense of Arian ambiguity.
Although it may claim some kind of NT pedigree (perhaps in Acts 3:13, 26; 4:27, 30), “Child” (as in Parent, Child, and Paraclete and Father, Child, and Mother) seems to depricate the second person of the Trinity, as if the Son were not yet properly mature. Moreover, to use Father, Child, and Mother could seem a little like a rerun of a Gnostic myth summarized by Irenaeus as Father, Mother, and Son (Adversus Haereses, 1.29). Renaming the first person of the Trinity in different ways could well mean saying something different and changing basic belief. A certain crypto-modalism comes through in some of the alternate proposals I listed: Creator, Liberator, and Comforter, for instance, can readily suggest a monopersonal God who behaves toward us in creative, liberating, and comforting ways but whose inner life is not differentiated into three divine persons. Another triad, Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, can claim considerable background in Christian tradition. But if used by itself, it fails to distinguish Christianity from other religions in a way that naming Father, Son, and Holy Spirit does. After all, other religions can and do profess faith in deities who create (or in some lesser way make), redeem, and sanctify human beings. The names Father, Son, and Holy Spirit tie Christian faith firmly into the revealing and saving history that culminated in the events of the first Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Once again, let me insist that I am speaking about the primary way of naming the Trinity, the three names used in the Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed. This does not mean that such formal trinitarian language is the only way of speaking about and addressing God. In these days, we may need more than ever some alternatives to prevent our “Father” language from collapsing into crass literalism. (pp. 189-90)
This approach seems to strike a good balance. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit remains the primary way of naming God because it keeps our faith fimly anchored in the historical particularity of the Gospel. Christianity is, after all, a historical religion, not a religion of abstract truth or speculation. But it allows for a certain flexibility in our images and forms of address to God. Theologians and mystics have frequently been quite daring in their language to and about God, and I don’t see good reason for the church to discourage that. We do need to be reminded that our language remains inadequate to its object.

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